So last night I was grabbing myself and DH a little dessert at TCBY, when I ran into a good family friend. She saw me and shrieked very excitedly, "I didn't know you were pregnant." I was wearing the purple dress pictured in the post below, so in her defense, it is very flowy after the bust part. Never the less, I just about wanted to burst into tears. Trying to keep it together, I turned to her, and pretended like I didn't hear what she had said. I said hi, and tried to make small talk with her until I could get my frozen yogurt paid for. Then I went into my car and sat there stunned. I couldn't decide what to be most upset about, the fact that I am still, after this 16 month journey, childless, or that apparently I am so fat I look pregnant. I mean seriously. I just wanted to cry.
I have been gaining weight since Christmas. To put it in the words of fellow blogger Buena, I'm stuck on this cycle of "hoping for baby, excited, negative result and then comfort food." It not good, and apparently now its becoming really apparent. So today I decided its time. If I'm not going to be blessed by a child, I should at least take care of myself. I think for a long time I've been hiding the toll this whole thing is taking on me mentally and physically. I feel so beaten down, and I generally turn to food as my coping mechanism. It has got to stop. So this morning I took the first step. I got out my scale and stepped on.
Starting Weight: 165.0
BMI: 25.8 (Overweight)
Abusive Relationship
9 years ago
7 comments:
OMG! You DO NOT look pregnant in that picture! It is totally the style of the shirt. I have a few shirts like that and every time I wear one I wonder if I should be wearing this..I don't want people to think I AM pregnant. 25.8 is NOT THAT BAD of a BMI. You are going to be fine! You are going to get healthy for that future baby I just know it! I too have been caught in that hoping for baby trap. I really struggle with my weight if I don't watch it. I swear when I do get pregnant I am eating REAL bread (not light) and drinking juice (not crystal lite). Funny, I weigh exactly the same as you! I really wanted to do a Triathlon before I got pregnant and almost didn't sign up for one because "what if I am prenant when it comes along?" But I did an feel great about it! We're in this together and we can do it!
Oh hun I'm so sorry that she made that comment. Wow, seriously! I think you look beautiful! But I do know how you are feeling because I have slowly been gaining way too much weight myself. I just can't seem to lose it because I am totally a comfort food kinda girl. I'll be good for a couple weeks then I get stressed or nervous about O then I can relax, then I get upset about BFN or AF. It's just not fun. I'm hoping to lose some weight this summer while I am home. Best of luck to you with your weight loss. ((HUGS))
That person was a douche, so don't even listen to them, BUT I am totally here for you! :) You're going to do great!
Well lets be clear of two things:
1. That comment was moronic and people are idiots
2. You do not look fat in that beautiful dress.
But I am proud of you for wanting to be healthier for you, thats such a great goal! I cant wait to watch you work to achieve it!
I don't think you look pregnant in that picture either!! I have struggled with gaining weight this past year too. I don't know if it's b/c my metabolism is slowing down (I'm about to turn 30) or if it's eating that ice cream that makes me feel better everytime AF arrives. I wasn't too worrried about gaining weight b/c I was sure I would get pregnant soon. Well after a year of that not happening I finally decided to take control and start losing weight. It is hard but you can do it. Good Luck!!
I still can't believe someone said that you! You look great in that picture. It's wonderful you want to be healthier, and I wish you great success with that!
I had a check out clerk at a save a center congratulate me on mother's day one year and then proceed to ask when I was due. I was 20 pounds lighter than I am now! I can commiserate. It is completely inappropriate. And no- you do NOT look pregnant!
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