My Inner Struggle

So I've been having a bit of inner struggle recently. As most of you know, none of our friends IRL know we are TTC. My family knows, thanks to my aunt, and my BF from college knows because we started trying at the same time, but no one else does. The stress of this is starting to weigh on me. I always feel like I am having to lie to my BFs here in New Orleans. I hate doing this, I hate that they don't know what I am going through. I want them there to support me, and lift me up when I am feeling down. But the other side of me worries, that all the added pressures of people knowing which originally led to our decision not to tell anyone would weigh on me more in a different way. The stress of everyone knowing we're "trying" but not successful would make it even harder. I also know that most of my friends haven't been in my situation before so I'm worried i would just get a bunch of "relax-it-will-happen" advice, which won't help the matter at all.

I guess what is bringing this about is that I've become really short with one of my good college friends, who asks me EVER SINGLE TIME I talk to her, when DH and I are going to start having kids (she's on woops-baby #2, so clearly she doesn't realize some people actually have to try). I know she doesn't mean to be offensive, but if she asks me again, i swear I might lose it. I don't want to be mean to her, or short with her; but the question is getting harder as the months roll on. So I just started wondering if maybe it would be better if we just let the cat out of the bag.

So my interweb friends... what is your opinion? To tell or Not to tell?

Exhausted, again!!

Once again I am totally exhausted after a very fun weekend!! Friday night was perfect. We had a great dinner/lingerie shower for my sister. There were 11 of us in a private room at one of our favorite local restaurants. After dinner she opened all the lingerie gifts we had gotten her while we enjoyed some yummy desserts and champagne. It was a blast. When that was done we headed down to the French Quarter, which was super crowded since it was the 1st weekend of Jazz Fest. We dance the night away and didn't get home till 3am!! Saturday morning, I was up bright and early at 7:30am. DH and I headed to my aunt's house at 9am, where my dad was getting ready for his crawfish boil. DH and I helped him get everything ready and the guests started arriving around 11:00. The crawfish was delicious, and everyone had a great time retelling the stories from the night before. We stayed there until 1:00, which is when we headed over to Jazz Fest. On Saturday we saw Rebirth Brass Band, Irma Thomas and James Taylor. It was a perfect day for the fest. It was sunny, breezy and just the right temp.

When Jazz fest was over at 7pm, we all went home and showered. After that, we headed to my mom's where she and her BF had prepared a feast of food for all the starving girls! The night ended for me at about 10:30, when sheer exhaustion set in and DH and I headed home for bed. This morning we slept in, and then spent the morning trying to get some stuff done around the house and then in the afternoon I read outside and soaked up some sun. I finished Eclipse today. These books just keep getting better. I can't wait to read the last one!! All in all, I am totally exhausted, but I know my sister and all her friends had a blast so it was worth it!!

On the TTC front, today is CD 2. I didn't think we had a great shot this month but I still had held out a little hope. Oh well though, here is to lucky cycle #10. I'm going to start temping again, and am going to use my watch too.
I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Hummm...

So this cycle is totally whacked out for me, which I should have expected given the trip to the ER, but none the less its frustrating.

So my Dr. said the night I felt the pain would have been when I ovulated, which would have been CD7. That would put me at 19DPO. I tested Mon, neg. Now my OV watch would like me to believe that I ovulated on CD 13, which would put me at 12DPO (longest LP ever was 13DPO). But I haven't started spotting at all, which on every cycle starts a few days before AF. So know I am wondering what the hell is going on and when AF is going to come. This is one of the few times I actually wished I had charted this cycle so I could figure out what is going on. I will probably test again Friday if AF hasn't come just so I know I am in the clear to fully enjoy myself for this weekends activities.

Which brings me to the most exciting news! This weekend I am hosting my sisters Bachlorette Weekend. 8 of her college friends are flying in and we have a very fun weekend planned! Friday night we are going out to dinner and then out in the french quarter. Saturday we have a crawfish boil planned at my aunts at 11:00am and the we are going to Jazz Fest all day. Everyone leaves early Sunday so we don't have any firm plans Saturday night, but it should be a really fun weekend!

Exhausted!

I am totally exhausted from our trip, but we had a blast!! We did lots of shopping, dining out, and of course we went to see Hair. The play was great and I was really happy that we got to see it. I didn't know much about it before, but it was definitely a blast from the past, and interesting given the current time of war that we are living in. What struck me the most was how the youth of that generation were such activist. It would have been a really interesting time to live in.

Monday morning I had my follow-up with my OBGYN. She did an examine and said everything feels fine. She said cysts are totally normal (which is what I thought) but that she was going to have me go to a follow-up U/S in 6 weeks just to be sure. One thing she said is that the night I felt all the pain would have been the night I ovulated (CD7). This would be really early for me, and the way she said it was kinda confusing, but if that was in fact the day I ovulated we are definitely out for this month. So now I am just waiting for my next cycle to get here! So bring on AF!

One last thing, on the plane to and from NYC I read Twilight. I've always been a "late adapter" to use a marketing term for you, so even though everyone has been raving about this series for a while I was never really moved to read it. Well Friday morning our flight was really early, and I was so sleepy I left all my books at home. I was browsing in the airport in search of something to read and came across Twilight. OMG, I am totally addicted to that book. I finished reading it Sunday on the flight home, and then came home and promptly rented the movie. I wasn't a huge fan of the movie because I thought it left out some crucial parts, and added in some plot lines I didn't like. But I must say I am absolutely looking forward to reading the next book.

Update on Cyst & NYC!

So I called my Dr. Monday morning and got an appt for next Monday at 9:00am. I was a little annoyed they wouldn't see me this week but apparently the Dr. was out Monday and was only seeing patients Monday through Wednesday this week. I did however email my friend from class, who is the head of OB at a local hospital, to ask him a whole bunch of questions. He was nice enough to give me a call and alleviate most of my concerns, so that's good. I'm still in a little bit of pain, but today is the first day I haven't taken anything. And although I definitely still feel it, its not horrible.

One of my main concerns, which I talked to my friend about, is that we are flying this weekend to NYC. I figured it would be fine, but I didn't want to aggravate or cause my cyst to rupture by flying. He said I'm totally fine to fly, so that made really excited! Me and DH, my older sister and her FI, and my mom and her BF are all going to NYC to visit my little sister who lives there. I am so excited. I haven't been to NYC in over a year, which is really strange in my family b/c we usually go a lot. For some reason they always seem to pick the weekends I have school stuff to do so this will be the first time I've seen my little sisters place. We have a full weekend planned including seeing Hair and eating at some of our favorite restaurants.

I'm in my fertile window according to my OV watch but we've decided to lay low this cycle. I really haven't been feeling up to it, thus far, but maybe that will change. I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter weekend!!

DH's 1st U/S experience

We certainly had an eventful weekend. Friday night I woke up to the most extreme pain I have felt in a very long time. It was concentrated in my ovary/uterus area. DH had to work Saturday morning, so I didn't want to wake him up to go to the ER. I got up took some Aleve and tried to go back to bed. I drifted in and out of sleep from about 3-8am. When I finally got up, I was still in a lot of pain so I drove over to my moms (she's a Dr.) to see what she thought I should do. After a few calls to her Dr. friends we all decided I should go on to the ER. My mom brought me over there, and DH came and met us. My mom left, and DH and I waited to see someone. We finally got called back about an hour after we checked in. I explained to the Dr. the pain I was in the night before, that it had gotten a little better, but still hurt a good deal. She started ordering all the tests so we could start ruling things out. She also gave me a shot of something intravenously which made me feel much better. I could still feel pressure over my right ovary, but couldn't feel the pain.

After drawing a ton of blood and doing a pelvic examine, I was wheeled off for a CT scan. The CT scan came back negative for my appendix being the cause. It also ruled out kidney stones, and they didn't see any cyst on my ovaries. The Dr. then decided I would need an U/S to check for cyst that the CT scan couldn't see. We got moved to another room to wait for the radiologist to come do an U/S. The radiologist finally came, unfortunately right after I had used the bathroom. He had me drink a bunch of water, but the abdominal U/S wasn't really doing the trick so he moved on to a vaginal U/S. I'd had all this done in January, so I knew what to expect, but DH was totally in shock the whole time. After about 25 minutes, the radiologist told me that I have a Hemorrhagic Ovarian Cyst. I was relieved to finally have a diagnosis and anxious to hear what would need to be done to relieve my pain. My ER doctor came in and told me again what I had, and wrote me a script for Naproxen and Vicoden. She said it should take care of itself, but that I would need a follow-up U/S to make sure everything was healing as it should be. So tomorrow I will need to make an appt with my OBGYN this week, and hopefully get another U/S later this week. We were in the E/R from 11:30am until 5:30pm, and although it took forever to figure out what was going on, my ER Dr. was wonderful.

When we left D/H laughed about the fact he'd been through his first U/S and that it hadn't been to see a baby! I think he was kinda taken aback by it all, but he did pretty well. I'm happy I made the decision to go in, b/c when I had a similar pain (not as severe) at the end of last year, it took me 5 weeks to get an appt with my OBGYN's NP and another 3 weeks to get an U/S. So by the time I had the U/S everything came back as normal. I know cyst do normally take care of themselves, but I felt like my OBGYN's NP kinda blew me off since the U/S came back as normal. I'm sure I had a cyst then and I know I have one now, so maybe know they'll take me serious this time. So we'll see, maybe this all is affecting my ability to get PG? For now I'm just resting up and hoping I feel better by tomorrow morning.

Hope everyone had a better weekend then I did!

Exhausting Weekend!

So I started spotting on Sat and AF finally showed on Sunday. Good news is I was so busy I didn't even have time to really be disappointed. On Saturday morning, me and the other bridesmaids hosted a wedding shower for one of my best friends. We hosted it at a local restaurant and everything came out great! I made oreo truffles for favors for everyone and they were a huge hit! There were 53 people at the shower, so it took almost 2 hours to open all the gifts!! The shower started at 11:30, and I didn't get home until 2:30!

If that was exhausting enough, Saturday night we had the bachlorette party for the bride. We did everything on one weekend because most of the bridesmaids live out of town, so it was a jammed packed day! We started off the evening at my house with a Lingerie Shower. It was so much fun to have everyone over, and I was fortunate enough to have my dad offer to cook dinner for us so I didn't have to rush around too much after the first shower because he and my DH were cooking away when I got home. He made 2 great dips for appetizers in addition to putting together a cheese tray. Then for dinner he prepared Chicken and Andouille Gumbo and Shrimp and Grits. He also made a great big salad. Everything thing was super yummy and all 19 of the guest went back for seconds!! After we ate and she opened gifts, we piled into cabs and headed to the french quarter.

Although I live in New Orleans, locals rarely go into the french quarter to go out. But for special occasions like this we usually go down there because it does tend to be fun and rowdy. Well we got down there and it was packed!! We couldn't figure out why it was so crowded until we realized everyone looked fairly young. Then we finally put 2 and 2 together and realized it was college spring break! Those kids were have a good time!! It was pretty funny, and we all ended up joining in and having fun. I went home on the early side (around midnight) because I was just exhausted from the day but the bride and some of the other girls stayed out until 4am! So needless to say they were living it up like the college kids. :-)

So here comes cycle #9. I'm thinking it sounds like a lucky one!